there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I know her cup size but not her name....
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
