You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
