We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
