sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
