Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
