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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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