Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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