I don't usually arrange sex via text message
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
