Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
