Can Purell be used as lube?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
