Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
