is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
