well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
