went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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