can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
