Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
