if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize