Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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