We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
