I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
