I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
