as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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