He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
