I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
