your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
