Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
