I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize