Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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