He is such a slut. More and more my type.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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