im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize