Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
