What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
