I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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