so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
