is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
