Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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