; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
