it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I skipped work to stalk him.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
