Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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