My nipple is on Facebook.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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