I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
