if you like me you must not know who I am
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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