I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
