Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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