my soul wont recognize me after tonight
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
