why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
