Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
