she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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