Moan for me like Helen Keller
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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