Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
