Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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