I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
