Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
