I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
