Umm I'm too high to move.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize