I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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