I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
