we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
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