uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
